blog

Stoicism

This is the excerpt from my weekly journaling. Some sensitive data is modified in order not to point to real people, and places.

The last couple of months were challenging for me: full scale war in Ukraine, health issues, and so on. All of that gave me too much stress that I had to deal with.

I am trying something new, that is ultimately a bright philosophy, and provides the set of tools to deal with the problems.

In this article, I analyze the video of one of my favorite YouTubers — Ali Abdaal, where he discusses some of the key principles of being stoic. I will also talk about my experience where stoicism could have been useful.

Stoicism

It’s a philosophy of life that maximizes positive emotions, reduces negative emotions, and helps individuals to hone their virtues of character.

The dichotomy of the control

Why: I can focus on what I can change and thus embrace happiness instead of focusing on something I cannot change.

How: shift the focus.

For example, Don’t look at the Instagram metrics, put out the media, and don’t let the metrics ruin the day.

People's judgments about a person's action disturb the person

“Not the events that disturb people, it is people’s judgments about the events; it is the story that I tell myself”.

Why: I don’t know all things even if I think I know them and I get frustrated for nothing.

How: when a bad event happens, don’t jump to a negative conclusion. Maybe there is something external that I am not aware of.

For instance, when I was invited to visit museums during the annual event “Noc w Muzeum” in Poznan, I was late by 5 minutes, and my friends didn’t wait for me. I felt betrayed and did not go to museums. I thought they bailed on me. Yet, there was one person who was not a friend of mine but she invited everyone and decided not to wait for me. She is no one to me, and I should have gone to the museums with my friends.

I suffer more in the imagination than in the reality

Why: it is all in my head: fears, doubts, anxiety, insecurity… Ultimately they hold me back.

How: when I feel my feelings hold me back, think about the worst-case scenario. Also, if I have insecurity, face them.

For instance, I don’t like my pinkies because of their shape. I should buy the pinky rings and proudly wear them. Or I could talk about this insecurity publicly, like on my blog post 🙂

Meditate on adversity

Why: It will ease the tragedy (crisis) and make me appreciate the moment.

How: Imagine the worst-case scenario to get used to it when it actually might happen.

Accept the absence or presence of people in my life

Why: the expectations sometimes do not meet the reality, and we need to handle them.

How: when I am in a crowded area and can’t leave, accept it. Treat it as a festival, people as friends. If I feel lonely, treat it as a precious moment of peace, and tranquility; the moment when I have the chance to reflect and meditate.

For example, when I am completely alone in Poznan: Peter is in the US, emptiness, Alex is outside Poznan, Zack always works, and I feel lonely. Embrace it; treat it as a moment of psychological growth.